I am the type of person that loves learning, especially in areas where I feel like I am not up to par! I like to read books, ask people’s opinions, read blogs, and look to my faith. I am a new wife, in a new life season so I feel like there are so many things to learn and grow in. I have been tossing around the idea of starting a blog ever since I did a guest spot on shylebrandi.com and talked about in relationships how hard but beneficial it is to humble myself and be the first to apologize in my marriage. 

I feel it’s only appropriate to write about relationships (friends, family and spouses) since relationships are what drive us as people. This is strictly from my life view and things I have gathered around the way! I feel like I need to say take it with whatever size grain of salt you choose!

9 months ago I married the most patient, loving, kind, and wise man in the world. Most often it is me stepping on his toes as I struggle with being impatient, critical, and make decisions fast. He loves me when I feel unlovable, he accepts me when I feel like the biggest failure, and he his quick to forgive my faults. Last night I found myself asking, how can I love him better? I turned to the book His Needs Her Needs – How to Affair Proof your Marriage by Willard Harley. Here is what I found in what most men need:

1) Sexual Fulfillment – this is not that type of blog so let’s move on! 

2) Recreational Companionship – he needs me to be his friend and play mate! I have made myself love his hobbies such as video games and certain TV shows

3) A good looking wife – I believe that all women are beautiful on the inside and the outside. Society puts pressure on females to be a certain size and look a certain way. I believe that all husbands should find their wives beautiful no matter what! The book I am referring to explains most husbands appreciate when their wives put in effort by taking good care of the outside. 

4) He needs his peace and quiet – again this is something we are ALWAYS working on. My love language is quality time but I married someone who needs an hour or two to himself… Constant learning curve for me to not take it personally! After we take a brief hour pause we always come back better!

5) He needs admiration – finally one I love! I adore my husband and absolutely am proud of all he is. He works hard, he is caring, and he always puts me first! I can’t express how much I love the man he is and the man he is always working to be. I never imagined marriage being this wonderful!

When we were dating I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend, then the perfect fiancé, and now I know there is no such thing as a perfect wife.

I challenge all: never feel like a failure! We live in a technology age where information is at our fingertips. Find resources and girlfriends and I promise you will love that man like he has never experienced. So happy to live and grow with the most amazing women! 

Xoxo

25 thoughts

  1. My darling Gwen…you have grown into such a beautiful woman. I’ve read all your words you have written and you make me very proud. You realize your imperfections and learn from them. You try and learn as you go. You are wise beyond what you may think. You may not meet all your goals but you are working on them and that speaks volume. The one thing I will disagree with you on is I wish you would truly look in the mirror and realize you are such a beautiful woman…you are gorgeous not matter what you think. Pure beauty shines from within and looking at your pictures you must be gorgeous on the inside cause it shines through on the outside. Always be proud of yourself

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    1. Oh thanks Auntie! Your words mean so much to me.. It is wonderful to have you comment on my thoughts as you have known me and loved me my whole life! It is a great feeling from someone that has seen me grow and change.. I work hard in my marriage and life and love the journey! My personal goal is to start making more of an effort into my appearance! I love myself and my body but I never wanted to be a wife that “let myself go”. I updated the blog to better explain my thoughts about that section of the book! Thank you for taking the time to read these thoughts and replying with such kind words! It is humbling the response I have received from friends, family and strangers alike.

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  3. Wow! What a beautiful blog! So many truths to this. I too had future ‘plans/thoughts’ most of them turned out not the way I thought but it lead me to better things. Sometimes life takes you on paths you don’t plan but when you look back, it’s like you were meant to go through all those things and go on all those paths to lead you to where you are now. I am a true believer in all things happen for a reason and I living them all now! I wish you all the best in your new happy marriage and may you be blessed with more happy times for the future 😊

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  4. Thank you for inviting me to read your story & thank you for sharing.

    Life doesn’t go as planned and that’s ok! ❤

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  5. I went trough your messages or book I love it. I identify myself in some of your feelings written here. I will reread the whole book again is beautiful. English is not my first language but I do read and understand everything. Writing in English is not my strong point but I hope you understand my view. In simple words I have also come along way in life and always I’m trying to be a better person with a bigger faith in God every day and a more positive outlook in life every single day. God bless you and your beautiful words.

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    1. Hi Yesenia, I totally understand what you are saying! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond! It is humbling to have people relate and be inspired by my thoughts. I too am trying to be a better person everyday. Thank you again for your kind words.

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  6. I can so relate in not being where you wanna be at a certain age and that’s ok …. Thank you for inviting me to reAd your blog it’s so life and soul lifiting …. Keep doing your thang!!! Congrats and much blessings – mellymels14

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    1. Than you so much for reading and commenting! I so appreciate your encouragement! It is people like you that give me the fuel to keep relating to others. Thank you again for your support!

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  7. I can really relate in many ways! Honestly your words couldn’t have come at a better time to me! Thank you for your kind words and for inviting me to read your blog! Wish you all the best in life 😁 – with_passion

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond! I’m so humbled that people are relating to me in such a unique way… Thank you so for your support.. Wishing you all the best!

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  8. I Love your blog! Follow me on Instagram you comment on one of my photos u told to check you blog out its great! Lindyforever27😘

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  9. Really loved it.
    It’s amazing to see people have the boldness to share their story. Sometimes you never know how many people you might help or touch with our stories. I truly appreciate you inviting me to read your story. I congratulate you. Keep up the good work. Best wishes to you always.

    Brenda 💖

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    1. Hi Brenda, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond! You are so right.. It has been hard being so transparent about our lives and flaws but we have made such beautiful connections because of this! It’s taught me so much that people connect through imperfection rather then the image of perfection! Thank you again for your support! We love people like you reaching out! Best wishes 💕

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  11. Awesome blog! Ugh, I feel so much better about a lot of things going on in my life… thank you so much! Its as if you knew I needed to read this! Will follow on instagram.

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    1. Hi Sharline! Thank you so much for taking the time to read! I’m humbled that we related on this level and that you feel encouraged! That’s what community is all about.. Thank you again for your support!

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  14. I love the way you think, for I too have had simalar thoughts and expectations for myself. I now have a beautiful family with the man that I love and though it didn’t follow the plan, I am happy. I am still working on getting a degree, while I build a small business to help us make it through. I will be one of your blog followers for sure. Keep speaking (typing) your beautiful mind;) Thanks for reaching out to me on IG.

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