Rob proposed to me only 4 months after our first date. To make the story more shocking for some is Rob and I actually only “officially” dated three months prior. It was fast but not furious. In fact I think we both went into our dating situation with a good head on our shoulders. We didn’t spend every waking moment together but everything we did was intentional. Every relationship is different. For Rob and I going from getting married almost exactly one year after our first date was exactly in the timing it was meant to be in. It could honestly be compared to the way the kids from 19 Kids and Counting date.
Rob and I knew each other for four years before he asked me out on our first date. When I was in year one of our churches’ bible college, he was in year two. When I was in year two, he had been hired on staff and I interned in his department. We were sharing a very small office for four months. Not only did we share a small space 40 hours a week, but we had the same friendship group and we hung out around 3 nights a week in a group setting. Add on that leading a kids ministry class together weekly and we were together A LOT.
I was able to get to know him well and I loved what I saw. I loved everything from his attention to detail, the way he had patience for people that many don’t, and how wise he was. The crush developed over months and it began to drive me crazy.. He drove me crazy! To make it worst he was the king of mixed signals. After consulting a few mutual friends, everyone told me to tell him how I felt.. I did. He told me he “had to think about it” and I told him, “I deserve someone who doesn’t have to think about it. I deserve someone to be head over heels.” It hurt but I was relieved to know where he stood and I could move on.
The next two years I tried to get over him. I went on other dates and had other crushes. Honestly I still hoped it would be him but I refused to put him in that awkward position. We still led a kids team together and we were still in the same friendship group so being awkward was not an option.
Fast forward to February 2013. He started to change towards me. He did things that he didn’t do before: he texted me, he always seemed to be nearby, and he would initiate long conversations. I didn’t want to read into it because he always was sending mixed signals. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.
Finally it was the beginning of May, 2013 – almost two years since I shared my feelings with him – he asked me out by walking to my car after church. He was so nervous which I found adorable! Of course I said yes and he planned the most romantic and thoughtful date I have ever been on. We went on a few dates in the month of May and then he made it official by asking me to be exclusive.
We “intentionally” dated which means we dated without a lot of physical contact and that we were seeing if we would mesh well one on one and if that would translate into a romantic relationship. We held hands and chose to save kissing till our relationship was more committed whether that meant for engagement or marriage.
Dating Rob was great! I came from being single for three years and I was very used to a level of independence that I was not ready to give up. He was the type of man who loved a woman who could stand on her own two feet. He liked that I didn’t “need” to be with him but I “chose” to be with him. I also saw a new side of him that he reserves only for those he is close with: he is silly, funny, extremely loyal, and flat out the most compassionate person I have ever met. He has wisdom beyond his years and has the patience of a monk. Add this to what I already knew about him and I was falling in love.
In August he went away for a week to volunteer at a summer camp and when he came back I left the next day to Montreal for a week long girls trip. After two weeks apart I actually missed him for the first time and then it was followed by this immediate feeling that I knew I wanted to marry him.
Well I didn’t have to wait long! We wanted a Spring 2014 wedding which meant we needed to start booking. We went out for Thai food and talked about practically do we want to get married and could we afford it – it was super practical and only slightly romantic.
It all worked out and he made arrangements to meet with my dad and go ring shopping. My parents owned a jewellery store so we knew where to go to find the perfect ring. It turned out to be a beautiful experience. We drove out to Saskatchewan together, our first road trip, and went ring shopping together with my mom and dad. It may sound weird that we went with my parents but it was such a special experience and I wouldn’t change anything (my dad had been selling jewellery almost 30 years, he knows his stuff). I narrowed it down to three rings and then left to let Rob to decide. He picked the perfect antique puzzle ring that reminded me of my mother.
Two weeks later he took me to my favorite park, said “I love you” for the first time, and proposed. Following all of this was our first kiss. It was one of the happiest days of my life saying yes to my best friend and long time crush. It shocked many people because I think I only posted about him on social media twice and due to scheduling (volunteer) conflicts we were rarely seen at church together. Of course we know some of the judgemental individuals that had opinions not based in love and expressed them to our friends behind our backs and others who were just suprised because we didn’t know we were dating. We were happy and had the blessing of those closest to us and that is all that matters.
May 23rd, 2014 , 1 year and 19 days after our first date and one nervous breakdown later, we said “I do” at a beautiful outdoor ceremony followed by a tent reception. It was such a special day that I will always treasure.
Rob was the perfect boyfriend and is definitely now the perfect husband who I fall more and more in love with everyday. He is an absolute gentleman all the time, he is kind and caring, he is silly, and he always lets me know how much he cherishes me. I know what life is like without him and I never want to take him for granted. I am okay our love story took 5 years because I truly got to get to know so many facets of him before my heart became so involved. I’m okay that it was sprinkled with hurt because it just makes me appreciate every ounce of his love and affection and I know he confidently chose me.
In our short time together we have been through many storms but I feel like we sailed through it well. I think our level of friendship and commitment is what keeps us in love when things get hard. I’m excited for the next season of life, to see Rob be a father and seeing already how in love he is with his little girl coming in September.