11 Things to Avoid Saying to a Pregnant Woman 

I am 25 weeks pregnant! In just 3 short months, our baby will be full term. I looked obviously pregnant at 11 weeks and now look like I’m smuggling a water melon. To say the least, I’ve become used to awkward questions from friends and strangers. People (mostly with good intentions) get excited for you which seems to pop off their social filter. Even random strangers ask the most personal questions that they usually would never ask someone who wasn’t expecting.

In summary: the bigger the belly the more awkward the questions from those around you. For this blog I surveyed 5 super funny pregnant or moms of newborns about the most inappropriate and uncomfortable questions they have been asked!

Below are 11 hilarious and uncomfortable questions and comments that me and the focus group have experienced, followed by the answers and what they wish they had the freedom to say instead of walking the socially graceful path:

1. “Are you sure it isn’t twins?”: I have had 6 medical ultrasounds. Unless baby is an expert Hide and Seek player, that’s a no, and thank you for reminding me how large I am.

2. “It’s only going to get worse!”: I am well aware that as this baby grows, so will my discomfort however I don’t want to be reminded. Pregnancy is a long haul and some days, whether you have chronic illness or not, it can be super overwhelming. Telling me it’s just going to get worse not only disregards my current feelings but makes me worry about that the next 3 months will be miserable.

3. “Let me tell you about this friend of a friend who’s baby died because of this (insert rare condition here)”: now something else I can lose sleep over. I’m really sorry your friend went through that experience but I’m choosing to be positive and believe that my baby will be healthy and full term.

4. “Well I didn’t experience THAT when I was pregnant”: Again, thank you for completely disregarding our feelings. Even if you can’t give advice, sympathy from one mama to another is always appreciated.

5. “Enjoy your sleep now while you can.”: I was already well aware that my life will be completely different come September. In fact it was the first thing that crossed my mind when I found out I was pregnant. Unless you are offering advice on how to get baby to sleep, we don’t need the reminder of the looming sleeplessness.

6. Alway followed by, ” enjoy your marriage while you still can.” Marriage is intentional work regardless of whether you have children or not. I see many couples who have 3, 4, or 5 kids who still have weekly dates and make time for intimacy. My major #marriagegoals

7. “It feels like you have been pregnant forever!”: Yes friend, yes it feels that way. I think about that every time I wake to pee in the middle of the night.

8. “The book, ‘What to Expect’ says that’s not safe.”: My OB’s office actually had this book on the NOT RECOMMENDED read list. I swear the amount of times it says, “even though it hasn’t been proven unsafe, it hasn’t been proven safe so you should completely avoid it.” Let’s remember folks that in one of their earlier copies it says that a baby having hiccups in the womb is a sign of a serious complication (Google it and see all the hilarious things this book has said over th years). In my opinion, it is written by a non medical professional and makes pregnancy seem like an illness and not a life event. There are a few snippets of good information buried in a sea of fear inducing “facts”. It is also not a book of hard, fast rules. My OB and specialist team have given me a lot of advice to help cope with symptoms that this book says are “no no’s” but tailored to me as a patient!  Feel free to judge but I use a heating pad to help lower back pain as directed by my OB and it helps a ton!

9. “Pregnancy looks sexy on you.” UMM this did NOT come from my husband.. It came from a random, middle age man, in an elevator. I have never been more creeped out! The only time it is appropriate to say this is if you are the person who got the pregnant woman pregnant.

10. “Was it planned?” I got this one a ton at the beginning.. Unless we are close, I don’t really care to share with you the details of our intimate life – just kidding I shared our pregnancy surprise in a blog, but most people HATE this question as it is really asking about their sex life. Whether this was planned or unplanned the baby is loved.

11. “You look tired” AKA you look like crap.. And you die a little on the inside if it’s a day you put a lot of effort into your appearance.

Obviously this is the sassy inner monologue of women and we all filter it into a “laugh it off” attitude. If you have asked someone these questions, don’t worry.. We forgive you! For you who are mommies already, thank God that we mostly forget the aches and pains however dig into those repressed memories and give all the understanding, support and solicited advice even if your pregnancy was a walk in the park.
Instead you can replace the awkwardness with:

1. You look fantastic!

2. You are glowing!

3. Can I bring you ___________ (insert their favorite craving here)

4. Pregnancy looks great on you!

Pregnancy I discovered is a crazy ride whether you have it easy or you have it difficult. As women let’s stand together and support each other in the journey to pregnancy whether it’s their first or their fifth!