I am so excited that we just celebrated our first year of marriage. We have had some up and downs, we have had a miscarriage and I found out I suffer from painful fibromyalgia which the medication has caused me to gain 70 pounds. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my husband. During our premarital counselling we each chose our roles; since my health had deteriorated my husband has had to help with roles that I had chose.

But what if he wasn’t flexible? What if he wasn’t patient? What if he wasn’t okay and supportive? What if he started to resent me? What if he decided he wasn’t attracted to me any more?

I know some of these would be deal breaker for many couples. I know this would cause a lot of resentment. I know these would be a reason for many people to walk away.

Divorce statistics makes me sad. 57% of marriages fail. That means that statistically, I will get divorce. This means statistically there will be a reason we will fall apart. The #1 reason for divorce is money issues and #2 is sex. BUT I am learning sex and money isn’t the primary issue… The number one issue is selfishness. It is easy to become selfish with what we want to do with our money. It is easy to be selfish with our bodies and energy.

If you are divorced there is still so much beauty in life and I’m proud of you for getting through that. If your marriage is in crisis, help is available! See a marriage counsellor or pastor but don’t give up!

So what do I do? What do I do to safeguards my marriage? I have decided I am not going to be selfish (even though I feel like I fail at this daily). I have decided that I will give 100% of myself. I have decided that I will communicate with my husband regularly to see what he needs and what can I do better.

I have been so blessed that I married a man who adores me beyond belief. He truly does love me on the inside and I do my best to keep the outside beautiful for him. I don’t want to be a sloppy wife but a classy wife he can be proud of. It is my goal to be forever newlyweds.

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11 thoughts

  1. I’m sorry for the loss you suffered Gwen. You are such a beautiful example of living and loving and I always appreciate your point of view! My husband and I celebrated 5 years last month, and it’s a big deal!! 🙂

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    1. It was a tough loss but also made us closer to each other and rely on God! It happened around 6 months ago so we have gone through the healing process. Thank you so much for your sympathies and support as always Patricia!

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  2. Marriage is a lot about giving up oneself. I’m not very good at it. Being a blended family with special needs involved, we “should” be getting a divorce at some point as well. Statistically, that is. But day by day, we make choices that hold our family together.

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    1. Jessica you are amazing! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate but you are glued together! It is nice to find other women who take their vows seriously! Keep on trucking.. You sound like my inspiration!

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  3. Hopefully you can keep the spark alive! I’m sure you can! Your Dad andI have been married for 35 years and we both know my health challenges.

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    1. Dear my mama! Your marriage has always been our model. We talk about it frequently and we adore how much you still love each other. I love how much dad shows love for you and how much you respect him. You have been amazing role models and you always give us both amazing advice. We love you both so much xoxo

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  4. Beautiful post! I am so sorry for your loss!

    I can empathize with you. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD; Kyle and I were married in May of this year, and Kyle has been fantastic through all of the effects of PTSD. I give him 100% of what I have each day. I say this because my 100% today may not be as much as the 100% I have to offer him tomorrow. I often feel like it is not enough, that I should be doing more, but Kyle says I go out of my way to spoil him. I think he spoils me, and I let him know every chance I get. It is nice to know that Kyle recognizes my efforts, even if I fail to see them, and I can only hope that I recognize his efforts as much as he recognizes mine.

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    1. Hi friend, thanks for reading and sharing your story. Mental illness can be hard in any relationship or marriage but it takes two kinder spirits who work hard to make it through. My husband and I have great days and there is the odd day he finds it hard and we talk and cuddle and get through it. So glad I could connect with someone going through the same thing..

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